This is a very, very silly movie that I made with the help of some very, very wonderful people. This is entirely a work of fiction, and though it is set at a institution named "Wheaton College", it is not meant to be a specific statement or critique of the real Wheaton College, Massachusetts. If nothing else, this movie stands as a testament to the power of friendship and to the kindness of the people I love. I'd like to take a second to thank them.

• Aidan, none of this would have been possible without you. I'm not sure if you knew the size of the role when you signed on to play Andi, but I cannot thank you enough for your time and your enthusiasm for this project. You are quite literally the reason I graduated. I owe you a thousand and one favors, or maybe just a Grease n' Cheese. Merci beaucoup, mon frère.

• Katie Hodes, you turned this silly little student film into a Hollywood production every time you walked on set. The level of commitment and energy you lent to this production outshined everyone, even myself. If you're not running Hollywood in ten years than it's their loss and you're too good for 'em anyways.

• Gracie, I hope I wrote you a character deserving of the name "Roxy". May the Miata live on forever, if not on the road, than in our hearts and in our dreams. Stay cool, and don't forget to keep fighting for that life of peace.

• Michael and Emmett, not only did you two act in this film, you both served as cinematographers, helped me record sound, assisted me in the editing process, and gave me more moral and emotional support when I was struggling to find the energy to keep going. I'll let you know if I ever need help pushing someone in a pond again.

• Ella, Finn, Reilly, and Will, you are the stars of my favorite scene in this entire movie. Everyone who has seen it tells me that it's their favorite as well, and that's all because of the whimsical yet vaguely threatening energy you all brought to the scene. Sorry about the golf club, Finn, I'm sure it'll turn up.

• Macey, I told you I would dedicate this movie to you because you let Ella sit on you, and so here it is: I dedicate this movie to Macey Poitras-Coite.

• Elsie, from one Catholic to another, you killed the role of "Biblical Woman". You were just like the one I met in my dreams, all those years ago. Thank you for wearing my unwashed Jesus costume and standing in the cold (twice).

• Jasper, there are no small roles, only small people, and you're one of the biggest people I know. Let me know if you ever wanna make "Dirty Harry Belafonte" or "Dune the Right Thing".

• Lily, not only did you hold a light tube for me that one time, you created an entire character all on your own with an accent that I can't place for the life of me. Consider me impressed by your talent, and grateful for your time.

• Eoin, the guitar thing is great and all but there's an injured pigeon at 46th Ave and Utopia Parkway, right off the Q27. I'll help you in a second but for now, I'm needed back in the kitchen. The park rangers killed a bear in the walk-in and I drew the short straw.

• Alejandro and Dante, even though your inclusion may be small, it warms my heart to know that there is even a single strand of your DNA in this movie. A Big Ego production if I've ever seen one.

• and finally, Katie Walz, thank you for being my rock. I'm honored that I had you as my partner on this adventure, and lord knows I can't wait for the next one. Forever grateful for you.

This was my senior thesis I made to complete my film major at Wheaton College, and the staff and faculty of the real life Wheaton are much kinder and encouraging than those portrayed in the film. To Professors Patrick Johnson and Talitha Espiritu in particular, thank you for supporting me on this journey and for letting me use thousands of dollars of equipment to make something as ridiculous as this.

Thank you for watching this silly little movie, and, before you ask, no, I have not seen David Lynch's "Blue Velvet", and yes, I have seen Terry Gilliam's "Brazil". I hope you find this movie at least mildly entertaining, and if not, there's nothing I can do about it now.